By
Marley
Imagine being on a roller coaster...Now imagine being on a roller coaster you never wanted to be on in the first place...Now imagine you don't get to choose when the ride...is...over.Marley
My name is Marley and I am 16 years old. I was diagnosed bipolar in September of 2008. That is kind of what my life had been like. Jr. High seemed to be when I first stumbled into a black hole. I was teased a lot, pushed around and spit on. People just didn't get me. That's when I started to turn to self destructive behaviors. I was just plain not happy with my life...and I was only 12. When I was finally diagnosed, that had to be the most relieving moments of my life. I finally felt like I wasn't a freak for feeling the way I was feeling, I finally had a reason.
Accepting my diagnosis and moving into treatment was easier than I thought it would be. I was not reluctant at all accepting that there was something wrong, and understanding that it was not my fault. It is no body's fault. It just is what it is.
Understanding this life is a gift from God...that is how I cope. Knowing that god will never give me more than I can handle is a comfort for me. He must be preparing me for something really big, huge...maybe enormous.
I continue dealing with the ups and downs, I once thought I was the only one who felt this way, now I know I am not alone, none of us are alone. We have each other, we have our friends and family. I have learned how to include them, communicating how I feel, how to deal with whatever comes my way...our way.
I know I lost a few friends to this illness, through misunderstanding and ignorance relationships fell apart, unanswered phone calls, messages ignored, feelings hurt through just not getting what was going on with me. It was no body's fault; it just was what is was...I was just so mad at myself, I did my best to not get too close...to anyone. I just didn't want to get hurt anymore.
Today I better understand that it is OK to feel the way I feel, that it is not the end of the world, or my world, there is help out there for everyone who needs it. We found this group, this bunch of "OutSpoken Young Minds" who, like me, understand how to care about themselves like they should, how to care about other people, each other. The friends I've made are the kind that don't judge each other, the ones that last a life time or longer.
I believe in my heart, this OSYM group is an answered prayer, the days continue to get brighter, I can't wait for Tuesday nights to come. I love seeing my friends and meeting new OSYM young people who find us; we can talk about anything at anytime. I am excited to see new people find help, find that we are not alone, find peace, find courage to speak about how we feel. The courage to say, "I may have bipolar disorder but that is not who I am."
Accepting my diagnosis and moving into treatment was easier than I thought it would be. I was not reluctant at all accepting that there was something wrong, and understanding that it was not my fault. It is no body's fault. It just is what it is.
Understanding this life is a gift from God...that is how I cope. Knowing that god will never give me more than I can handle is a comfort for me. He must be preparing me for something really big, huge...maybe enormous.
I continue dealing with the ups and downs, I once thought I was the only one who felt this way, now I know I am not alone, none of us are alone. We have each other, we have our friends and family. I have learned how to include them, communicating how I feel, how to deal with whatever comes my way...our way.
I know I lost a few friends to this illness, through misunderstanding and ignorance relationships fell apart, unanswered phone calls, messages ignored, feelings hurt through just not getting what was going on with me. It was no body's fault; it just was what is was...I was just so mad at myself, I did my best to not get too close...to anyone. I just didn't want to get hurt anymore.
Today I better understand that it is OK to feel the way I feel, that it is not the end of the world, or my world, there is help out there for everyone who needs it. We found this group, this bunch of "OutSpoken Young Minds" who, like me, understand how to care about themselves like they should, how to care about other people, each other. The friends I've made are the kind that don't judge each other, the ones that last a life time or longer.
I believe in my heart, this OSYM group is an answered prayer, the days continue to get brighter, I can't wait for Tuesday nights to come. I love seeing my friends and meeting new OSYM young people who find us; we can talk about anything at anytime. I am excited to see new people find help, find that we are not alone, find peace, find courage to speak about how we feel. The courage to say, "I may have bipolar disorder but that is not who I am."
God does have an amazing way of answering our prayers. Great story...you are OSYM!
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